Count Chaukulos
Biography Though he would achieve his greatest infamy as the cyborg spider Chaukulos, Ritka Mal’ Etifa was originally an organic Korangulan, the arachnid natives of Korangula, a world united by friendship and business. For generations, Korangulans had been assaulted without respite by a technologically superior human species, the Galgorian (referred to by the Korangulan as the "Beards" or "Obese Autists"), who coveted the Korangulans as pests. The conflict between the two species was known as the Tu’Chipra Conflict. Chaukulos’ father, seeking a useful outlet for his son's anger, taught him how to build droids. The young Korangulan proved himself an excellent roboticist with a mind as finely honed as any weapon; by eight years of age he had already become an expert builder with more than forty mechs built to his credit. By the age of twenty-two, he had built so many droids that the Korangulan people considered Chaukulos a demigod. Chaukulos’ closest comrade was a fellow Korangulan warrior and mercenary Krangletoes Val’ Aim’rah According to legend, his relationship with this wild and skilled butt pirate had its beginnings in a dream, in which Chaukulos saw himself building a mighty arachnid-cyborg hybrid in the Pirtu jungle with twigs and sand. So taken was he with this vision that he set out with his tools build one in reality, but instead of building a cyborg in the jungle, he saw Krangletoes. He realized that the slayer in his dream had not been himself, but the butt pirate standing before him in a sparkly pink mask and wielding twin dildos. The two of them were, therefore, considered living manifestations of the cryptic Korangulan parable Chaukulos, or The Dreamer/The Dreamt One. The bond of the two Korangulan was very strong, and they became partners in war against the Galgorian. Krangletoes taught Chaukulos to wield a dildo, and in turn he introduced him to the skill of building mechs and cyborgs. Both clad in masks, Krangletoes with his bright pink lipstick and Chaukulos with his mech building skill—inherited from his father, who had died fighting the Galgorian—became legends, twin demigods blessed by their ancestors. Together they mercilessly cut through the Galgorian invaders in countless campaigns. However, in one engagement on the beaches of Rhu-Tarr, the two of them were separated. Krangletoes died violently under the Galgorians' overweight bodies, and his body vanished into the thin air. Chaukulos, unable even fathom what had just happened, was driven to despair and a horrible psychotic depression. Inconsolable, he set off on a dangerous journey across the ocean to Mount Tawlik, an island-monolith far from the mainland. There, he beseeched the gods to raise him from his blubbery grave just so he might see him one final time—but the gods remained silent. Korangulos did what he could to bury his grief. He ended up taking ten wives and siring thirty children, but none of them, spouse or child, seemed to be able to fill the void Krangletoe’s death had left in him. Eventually, he realized that it was his destiny to mourn for him as long as he lived. With this realization, Ritka Mal’ Etifa cast off his old identity, adopting a name more appropriate to a being destined to grieve forever, and, even more terribly, who was determined that he would not do so alone. He would be Chaukulos, as well as heart-broken, for the rest of his life. Becoming A Cyborg Gathering to his side a group of equally bloodthirsty Korangulan elite, the Cybor Eti’Shu, and adopting the title of Count, Chaukulos became a warlord and managed to force the Galgorian from Korangula. But his bitterness did not end with that triumph, and he pushed them further back, storming their colony worlds. His attacks and mass destruction of entire Galgorian colonies ensured Korangulans victory until the Galgorians turned to Phorr’ Twenni for help. Chroner Brothers, sent to stop the war, sided with the Chaukulans, and hefty fines and embargoes came down upon the Galgorian. Galgoria ended up in poverty, and hundreds of thousands of Galgorians starved and died. The arrival of Tu’Pak’Tu, Chairman of the Leet Ones, brought an opportunity to Chaukulos. Hill saw Chaukulos' potential as an LO "collections agent", and in exchange for his services, the Leet Ones offered to take on Korangula’s massive debt, thus helping his people overcome the effects of the Korangulan war machine. Chaukulos felt disgust at the notion of being a glorified leg-breaker for a soulless megacorporation, but he understood what the agreement would mean for his people, and besides, there was something in this innate warrior that needed to keep fighting—if not the Galgorian, then someone, somewhere. Eventually he agreed, taking command of the Leet's private army of droid enforcers. Transformation Chaukulos had suffered near-fatal injuries, rendering the body that had survived many battles useless, or so he was told. Planted evidence pointed to a Chroner Brother’s plot. In truth, Chaukulos once again proved his resilience, and additional injuries had to be added after the crash to make his body as broken as was claimed. Tu’Pak’Tu repeated his proposal, including a promise to replace Chaukulos' broken body. Desiring vengeance against the Chroner Brothers and Phorr Twenni and the Galgorian, he agreed on the condition that his mind would not be tampered with. Carmack provided high dentsity metals from the outer rims of the Tranquility Server as a means of keeping Chaukulos' body alive during his transit to Idoria, where Bronies, the Lesser and his Idorian scientists implanted his brain and eyes into a Alvanium alloy body reminiscent of a High Tech Galgorian Battleship, complete with eight LRP-982 Alvanium Legs. His vital organs were housed in a Indici Tank impervious to vacuum. The Idorians would also alter his brain against his wishes, both to trim away disturbing memories—while enhancing his rage centers—and to enhance his equilibrium, allowing him to better employ his newfound agility. Internal implants were also placed in his eyes to sharpen his vision and to protect them from the vacuum of space. To Tu’Pak’Tu and his allies, however, the experiment was a phenomenal success. Ritka Mal’ Etifa had become Count Chaukulos in form as well as spirit. The same droids and techniques used to rebuild Chaukulos would later be used to construct the massively successful Chaukulan Army. The cyborg project was funded by Tu’Pak’Tu to create an unstoppable killing machine that could counter Korangulos’ growing political influence in the Unification Movement, although he presented the finished Count Chaukulos as a twisted gift to Korangulos. Though taken aback by his appearance, Korangulos was pleased, and bestowed upon Chaukulos the title "Supreme Commander of the Unified People of the Al-Korthicra System," planning to use him in his efforts to conquer the Galgorian. He presented him with his first laser weapon, Idarthi, the first weapon given to Krangletoes, unknown to him. Chaukulos was astounded by his new droid body and took Korangulos' appointment as Supreme Commander of the Unified People of the Al-Korthicra System as an blessing. Immediately after he was presented with Krangletoe’s weapon, he slaughtered all the BetaChaukulans in his presence in a defiant rage, exclaiming that he was the most powerful, which Korangulos had not referred to him as. He celebrated by openly displaying his Korangulan heritage by adorning himself and his BetaChaukulans with masks and cloaks in styles closely resembling those found amongst his people, considered by Korangulos to be an act of homage. Chaukulos, however, would soon come to highly respect both Korangulos and Feritos, considering them "necessary" political leadership. In particular, Chaukulos bore a great hatred for Viceroy John Carmack, tolerating him only because he was vital to the Unfication's success. Specifically, Chaukulos was repulsed by Carmack's arrogance and cowardice, and quietly enraged by Carmack's questioning of his leadership, and his defiant tendency to treat Chaukulos as a typical mindless cyborg, even after Chaukulos' demonstrations to the contrary.